Connections.
Bygones;
Sunday, February 07, 2010 ♥ 10:55 AM
ytd was fun ! aha =DD
we should go out more often .
l forgot how it was like to go out with you guys .
& tht stupid josh , lol .
dunno how he can create jokes out of nth .
heh . going out later with ♥Jer & ♥Sarah (:
shall go pack my room first , arbo lmma be late !
Friday, February 05, 2010 ♥ 8:56 PM
omg l can't stand how xia0zhu's smelling now !
he smells too nice . & l mean really nice .
god knows how much EDPs & scented lotions he slathered on himself .
pray only god knows . l don't want to .
** faints **
♥ 1:20 PM
pon math today , lol (:
baking my trademark choc muffins for besties ;
namely ♥Amanda , ♥Sarah , ♥ Kitty , ♥Michelle ,
♥Jeremy , ♥Khin , ♥Chris <33
& l know , even Josh was concerned =/
aha , after so many things happened ,
they were always the ones standing by my side ;
esp Jer Jiemei (:
really nvr expected you to still be by my side .
( think you can be Guardian Angel liao , heh ! )
& l dunno how l'm supposed to start thanking them .
for trusting me , supporting me , making time for me .
perhaps l was once too blind to see them .
to see tht they are the ones who will be by my side ,
through thick or thin , gd or bad .
not anymore , guys .
frm now on , lmma make up for all the time we lost before .
Besties forever ! ♥♥
Wednesday, January 27, 2010 ♥ 11:10 PM
time seriously flew by this Jan ,
my time being occupied by FB & sch .
CNY is just arnd the corner ,
but l can't seem to reach it yet .
as l look at the calendar everyday ,
l'm unwillingly & unknowingly reminded once again ,
of all his broken promises-
CNY Batam trip with both our families ;
2 yr anniversary 1 wk cruise ;
his 21st bday celebration ...
& the list goes on .
l guess planning too much ahead is wad's depressing ;
cos it's still really hard to believe everything's just blown-
those sweet treats for the cruise l'm nvr gna make ;
the 3-tier Victorian Chocolate Cake with Mocha cream filling ,
topped with satin-bronze icing & Swiss Dark Chocolate Mints
( which recipe l've alr decided & improvised on ) ;
everything's come to naught .
wad l was most looking forward to was his surprise .
the surprise he would get , & l would see on his face .
don't get me wrong , l still hate him for many things ,
almost everything can trigger our memories ,
so much tht l'm used to suppressing & numbing my feelings .
only by this way can l stem the flow of my tears ,
which is wad l've been doing since l got injured .
it's vexing just to take note of wad l've been restricted to do .
l can't cry , or l might aggravate my injured eye ;
l can't blow my nose , or l might open some passageway-
tht the bacteria can easily use to reach my brain .
just talking abt this reminds me of how horrible it had been .
my eye was so swollen it was difficult to see ,
& l had to wipe off wad dribbled frm my nose .
it wouldn't hv seemed or felt so gross if it were only for awhile ,
but the bloody thing continued for almost 2 wks !
& by bloody l mean literally very bloody .
there was internal bleeding so it was quite messy -
it all came out in the mucus .
so add to these a miserable appetite & nightmarish nights ,
l was practically a walking zombie .
it's gotten better -
the swelling's gone , bleeding's stopped ,
bruising can also be fully covered by concealer .
but l'm still not allowed contact lens , nose-blowing ,
all the way for the next 6 mths . oh god ='(
l don't even feel like mentioning eye makeup .
oh l shall stop cos l feel really whiny now . zz
Monday, January 11, 2010 ♥ 1:57 PM
my new hse is almost fully renovated ! lol .
took some pics ytd of the empty hse =/
looks damn huge , but yea , it's still empty .
Master Bedroom
Master Bedroom
Toilet
& the Ultra-cool Twin Showerheads !! O.o
My Room
Ahma's Room
Common Toilet ( hv to close 3 doors to shower -.- )
My RoomAhma's RoomCommon Toilet ( hv to close 3 doors to shower -.- )
Corridor
Kitchen
Living Room
Dining Room 
Close-ups :
Close-ups :
Bedroom Doors
Floor tiles
Kitchen tiles
Kitchen floor
Kitchen tilesKitchen floor&& many many thanks to Daddy for my Q-sized & S-sized beds =DD
♥ 1:42 PM
down with sore & swollen eyes , fever & sore throat .
hopefully it's just sore eyes & not infection bahs =/
these few wks l've been seeing doc after doc ,
going to hospital after hospital .
l can even memorise half their floor plans alr -.-
& l do think the docs know me by name & face too .
sick of being sick & hving to see the doc . zz
been bothering ♥Amanda & Vincent recently ,
so thanks for being so patient with me =DD
cos l know l've been raving like a lunatic lately .
lol . l think l'm going to slp now & hope for a swit dream ):
Wednesday, January 06, 2010 ♥ 3:47 PM
& pls stop lying tht you'll give me wadever l want ;
cos you can't bloody do it .
l'm alr immune to all ur empty promises .
how did you react when l said you still owed me one ?
you laughed & denied it .
so how am l gna react when you say you wna owe me one ?
l'm gna laugh & tell you l don't need it . asshole .
♥ 1:03 PM
in my dictionary , sorry is defined as
"an acknowledgement of a mistake" ;
while in Dictionary.com is defined as
"a conventional apology or expression of regret" .
in ur dictionary however , the definition would be
"a word used to gain easy sympathy & a favorable ending" .
you tell me you're sorry , but you know wad ?
l honestly don't believe you anymore .
although l'm unclear of wad ur sorry means ,
but it should predictably mean :
- avoiding the punishment you know you deserve
- hving ppl to sympathize with ur "sorry" plight
- l should go back to loving you cos you're sorry
- getting my forgiveness cos it's alr taken for granted
you're gna tell me you don't , but you hope to be anyway .
all along , l was foolishly hoping ur sorry would someday mean :
- l knew l treated you unfairly , now l'm gna treat you better
- for you , l'm gna put my best into this r/s to make it work
- promising to love me with ur best when l'm at my worst
it's too bad l've only just realised how delusional l've really been .
sadly mistaken , over these past 2 yrs .
but l think you should ponder over 1 qns truthfully to urself .
hv you ever really realised wad you did me wrong ?
& before you say yes , pls rmb to consider these :
- are you sorry cos you're afraid or cos you can finally empathize ?
- why still hang out with her when you know her character's rotten ?
- wad for say all the hurtful words when you knew you'd regret ?
- since you don't know anything tht's going on , why assume ?
since there's only one her you've been so close with .
after all the shit she's done ,
you were the one who agreed with me to be hi-bye friends with her .
yet you let me find out you both are so chummy !
& you tell me you're sorry , you've realised ur wrongs ?
pls . could you be any more pathetic ?
oh , right , l forgot . you both are just sis & bro (:
tht's seriously so revolting it makes me wna puke just by typing . ugh
Tuesday, January 05, 2010 ♥ 10:12 AM
原谅不等于忘记 ;
拥有也不等于属于 .
遗憾的是- 爱情不一定会开花结果 ,
承诺也未必能保证幸福 .
Monday, January 04, 2010 ♥ 5:17 PM
l've decided not to live for anyone but myself .
it's torturous hving to be a person others want you to be .
frm today onwards ,
l'll learn to live life the way it's supposed to be .
doesn't really matter whether l'm single or in a r/s .
those who love me , thank you ;
& those who hate me , can scoot .
l dunno wad's gna happen to me & Eric after this ,
but l will not get back together with him ever again .
perhaps this is the end ?
we might be friends , l'm not saying tht we can nvr be ,
but chances are slim & even so , we'll only just be hi-bye friends .
l don't think l can trust him enough to be close friends .
this love for him , l hope it fades away , if not ;
maybe l'll keep it someplace l won't come across again .
& l'll learn to love another person like l always hoped to .
after so many trials ,
l hv to accept & admit tht we just weren't meant to be .
it hurts a real deal learning to & really letting go ,
but l will be strong , for myself , so l can find someone else (:
who knows ?
my Mr. Right might alr be on his way to sweep me off my feet .
let's hope he allows me some time first , for a pedicure (:
♥ 10:06 AM
being cooped up at home for a prolonged period ;
has very undesirable side effects .
makes me so bloody moodless & restless .
can't look at TV , PC or books for too long ,
all l do is eat , slack , slp . zz
feel so lifeless . sigh =/
lucky for me tht my swelling alr gone down ,
it's just the bloody bruising on my eye ):):
